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Crime and Punishment

January 16, 2009

We’d been together about a year when we moved to a small Texas town where the oil field business was booming. He worked second shift and was gone from noon until midnight. The drive to the oilfield was a long one so travel time was a good part of those long hours. We lived in a tiny apartment with a phone and a small TV to keep me company while he was gone.

One day, the wife of one of his co-workers called and asked if I’d go shopping with her. She didn’t feel well, had been having asthma problems, and didn’t want to go alone. I jumped at the chance to get out of that tiny place and do something! I was bored to death.

We went to a small department store where she bought several articles of clothing. We went up to the checkout counter and she wrote out a check. she began having an asthma attack so handed the check to me asking me to pay for the items with it. She stepped outside the door for some air. I paid for the items with the check–no questions asked, no ID required in this tiny town where everyone knew everyone else.

I joined her outside and, as we were walking to her car, we were stopped by an officer. He said she was being watched as a suspect for writing hot checks and he arrested both of us. He said since I actually handed over the check to the clerk that I was her accomplice! We went to jail.

I was scared to death! I’d never been in trouble before, I didn’t know what to expect. We were booked, then separated to different cells. There was no embarrassing body search or having to take off my clothes to put on a jail jumpsuit. I was given my one phone call so I called my mother-in-law and she said she’d tell Rick what happened and they’d bail me out in morning.I was taken to a cell until I could see a court-appointed lawyer the next morning and go before the judge.

It was a tiny cubicle with a cot, a toilet, and a small tray table to eat on. I was given dinner, then it was lights out. I laid there and listened to others talking until they finally fell asleep. It seemed hours before I finally did.

The next morning, after breakfast, I was taken downstairs to the lawyer’s office. On the way there, I glanced over at a waiting room and saw my husband sitting there with his mother. He looked up at me, then looked down again–like he was embarrassed! I felt horrible for him, he must be so upset about what happened to me. I actually felt ashamed.

I was in with the lawyer for quite some time. he assured me the charges would be dropped due to the circumstances of the case. Then, he walked me to the courtroom. There I found my husband sitting alone, without his mother, and he still wouldn’t look at me.

The judge did drop the charges so I was free to go. My mother-in-law had come back in and she took me to her car. Rick just said to her “I’ve got to go to work, take her home.” Not a word to me. So, she did.

On the way there, she’d told me he was very mad but not at me. That he was mad at the authorities for doing this to me. Really?! Where was his sympathy for me? Where was the hug/I’m so sorry this happened to you/everything is ok now, I’m here???

Once I was home, I took a shower then went to bed. I was tired and I felt sick about it all. I was also nervous, apprehensive, about him coming home that night. Was he going to talk to me then?

I was awake, watching TV, when he came home–Drunk! He walked in, turned off the TV and sit in the chair next to the bed. He asked me, “Well! Did you have a good time last night? Did the jailers do a good job for you? Did you like it?” I felt like I’d been hit in the stomach! I couldn’t believe he was thinking those things about me! I had just been through hell during the entire experience and was expecting some sympathy, understanding, caring from my husband. Instead I get this! I told him he was drunk and we’d talk about it tomorrow. He stood up then and said, “And how about the lawyer? You were in there an awful long time. Did he do you good, too?” I refused to answer as I didn’t want things to get worse.

He grabbed onto me and tried to flip me over on my stomach. “Is this the way they did it? Did you like it? Here, let me try it. See if you like it better with me.” I fought him and screamed so long and so loud that he finally stopped. I think it was only because he was afraid the neighbors would hear.

He jerked me up and told me to go sleep in the chair, it was his bed and he was sleeping in it–without some whore sleeping with him. I did what I was told. He had scared the living shit out of me, no argument from me!

He passed out soon after. I curled up in the chair and cried for a long, long time until I finally fell asleep. The next morning he was all lovey-dovey, apologetic. He was sorry but he just couldn’t stand the thought of other men having access to me like that. I didn’t say anything to counter that statement, it wouldn’t do any good. I didn’t know how to handle his behavior.

But, I was learning!


4 Comments leave one →
  1. January 18, 2009 9:12 am


  2. pioneerjo permalink
    February 1, 2009 5:43 am

    What a bastard. Alcohol always brings out the absolute worst in people, doesn’t it? Ezpecially when the bad seeds are there to begin with….

  3. pioneerjo permalink
    February 1, 2009 5:43 am

    What a bastard. Alcohol always brings out the absolute worst in people, doesn’t it? Especially when the bad seeds are there to begin with….

  4. February 4, 2009 12:20 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. You’re inspiring.

    It’s not always easy to tell those stories, but somehow (I think) getting them out there eases the internalization a bit. There’s nothing worse than a secret pain.

    Too bad these “men” won’t ever really know what they’ve done.

    Stay strong on your journey — you’ve come so far. ((hugs))

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