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Moving On

March 14, 2009

Continuing from previous post (a couple of better years)…….

Rick moved in with me, at the new apartment complex where I had worked for a week. He was so good, so sweet. He said he hadn’t had a drop to drink since I left (yeah…whatever) and to please try again to stay together. So, sucker that I was, agreed.

I enjoyed the job as there were only 20 apartments to handle. The owner, Gene, came by twice a week to see how things were going. He got to know Rick and asked him if he’d like to contract out some work on a few minor repairs and keep up the swimming pool maintenance. They reached an agreement so our finances went up a bit more. Rick would do work at the complex on weekends when he was off from his construction job.

After about a month, Rick started in with the jealous accusations. I must be sleeping with Gene (65!!) because he paid me every week where he only paid Rick once a month for whatever odd jobs he did. Uh, you signed the agreement to do it that way!  And, why in the hell would I want to sleep with an old fat 65 year-old man???!!! Jeez!!

So! Here we go again with the drinking! I  ‘drove him to drink’  because of my carrying on with Gene. Oh pu-leese!! I finally gave up arguing with him. He believed what he believed and nothing was going to change that. It hurt me so bad that he would think that of me–his wife who has struggled alongside him through so many trials and errors! It got to the point that I wouldn’t answer the door to Gene if Rick wasn’t home. I would only talk to him when necessary. I think he noticed that I wasn’t friendly anymore but he never said anything. I felt bad treating him like that because he was so sweet but Rick was making me so paranoid that I was afraid to talk to Gene for fear of another fight.  Things calmed down after that and Rick’s drinking lessened quite a bit and we were pretty happy for about 3 months.

One day, Rick received a call from his brother who lived in Arkansas. He had started a construction company and was getting a lot of bids on jobs so he needed a foreman. He wanted Rick to move there and take the position. Rick jumped at the chance! Yes! We both wanted to move away from dry, dusty West Texas and there were many jobs in Arkansas. It would be easy to start over there.

We started collecting boxes and packing. We had acquired so much over the months there. We called UPS and told them we had 20 boxes to be shipped and they gave us a big discount for such a large amount, that thrilled us! UPS came out to the place and loaded it all up to be delivered to Rick’s brother’s place where it would be stored in the garage until we could find our own place.

That night, as we were packing up what we were taking in the car with us, Rick started drinking to celebrate. He was so excited. As the night wore on, he drank more…and more! Then, he comes up with this-“I don’t want you to go with me.”   WHAT!!!!!??????   “I don’t want you to go with me. You don’t really love me and you’re always leaving me so I want you to stay here.” I could not believe my ears! Most of my stuff had just been shipped to Arkansas and the rest was in the car. How in the hell was I going to stay now?!! I love you! I’m your wife, I’m supposed to go with you! You’re drunk!

Well, on and on it went. The same words repeated over and over until I was crying so hard, I couldn’t talk anymore. I went on to bed. He eventually passed out. The next morning, I got up with huge swollen eyes from all the crying. I looked horrible! He looked at me and asked what the hell happened? I explained what all was said the night before. He hung his head down and was so, so sorry. He didn’t mean any of those words. He loved me and needed me to be with him. Please come with him. Please.

We finished loading up the car with last minute needs and hit the road. I felt everything was going to be good. Everything would be different–new places, new faces, new beginnings……..


2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 15, 2009 12:35 pm

    Isn’t it interesting how we keep hoping the person will change if we just change the circumstances?
    And that part about how we “make” the person do things with our behavior?
    I am so glad you learned the things you are sharing with us. Your writing reflects your own transformation well and gives others a glimpse of the possible.

  2. March 15, 2009 1:08 pm

    I agree with leakelley – we have to learn the hard way that where ever we go we take ourselves along too!! I’m looking forward to the next chapter!

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