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It’s All Your Fault!!

September 13, 2009

Rick’s drinking increased steadily over the first weeks of my taking care of Carol. He was moody, very grumpy. I tried my best to stay in the background and stay quiet so as not to escalate his mood and make things bad for myself.

One afternoon, I came home from Carol’s and Rick was already home from work. He said they ran out of materials and couldn’t continue work until tomorrow. I suspected why he was sent home as his words were already slurring.

I said that, in a way, it was nice he was home early as maybe he could catch up on the fence repairs and maybe chop more wood for this winter. Big mistake!!!!

He came totally unglued–ranting and raving–throwing things around.
“It’s all your fault! You brought us here! You’re the reason I have to work so hard on this place plus working the job!”

WHAT???? WHAT??? HE is the one who told me he wanted to homestead! HE is the one who talked of it constantly! HE is the one who was so depressed and mad at the world because he didn’t have his own land. HE is the one who wanted to build our dream home!

Did he think I loved living this way? Did he think I loved all the hard work  I had to do, too?
Sure, I met the owners. Sure, they offered us the place. But it was HIS ultimate decision that got us here!

I was mortified. angry, shaking my head in disbelief! How dare he!!

We had quite a screaming match over the subject, then the subject changed to how I was neglecting him to take care of Carol. Uh, you’re at work when I’m at Carol’s! “Well, I wasn’t at work today!”
That’s not MY fault you drunk bastard!!

He got in his truck and drove off. Good! I hope he wraps that damn truck around a tree, too!!

Pretty sure it’s all gonna be downhill from here!!

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2009 12:28 am

    Awful. I so understand your emotions!
    Thank God you’re well and happy now.
    Hugs.

  2. September 14, 2009 4:52 am

    Totally better off away from anyone like this. Hugs.

  3. September 14, 2009 9:37 am

    Thank you Jonie!

  4. September 14, 2009 9:47 am

    You bet Kate!! I’ve lived a much happier life since I left him!

  5. September 14, 2009 7:08 pm

    I don’t know if I will EVER understand the need to make it all ‘your fault’, and how hard ‘they’ have to work while all we ‘wimmen’ do is force the poor bastards to slave away!
    Of course we are forcing them to slave away while we, in the homestead situation, haul and heat water, make the meals, clean up after the meals, do all the shopping, make due without refrigeration, drop all other outside or housework chores we were doing in the at the drop of a hat, usually just after getting good and into the swing of things to chase kids, make meals, do all the food shopping, heat water to bathe EVERYONE, feed the animals, haul the garbage, pack up and haul the laundry to town, do the laundry, pack it up and take it home, fight with the kids to get them to put away their laundry, mediate more sibling fights………..etc, etc, etc.
    Why those poor overworked men!

    I was just having a screaming match this morning with my own husband about why it’s NOT OKAY for him to yell at the kids about them needing to get up, get dressed, get their shoes on, and get in the car, all while LAYING ON HIS ASS IN BED, because, as he puts it, “it only takes HIM five minutes to get ready….’

    Though my husband rarely ever drinks, he has all the behavior patterns of a drunk asshole at times. Is it the male species or do we have shitty luck? Lol

    *ahem*
    I am done ranting now. Thankyouverymuch.

  6. September 14, 2009 7:49 pm

    Hahahaha! You certainly told how it is!!! All that work that we do! Whew!! I’m wore out just reading about it!!
    Rant away girl! I love it!!

  7. September 16, 2009 4:03 pm

    In your mind even before Rick, you must have known you deserved better. But sometimes we choose to listen to our heart, hopefully others can learn from you never to ignore what their mind is telling them.

  8. September 16, 2009 4:50 pm

    I hope you’re right Nancy. I hope this teaches others to listen to their head rather than their heart.

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