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All By Myself

November 15, 2009

It took me about 2 months to find another job. There was a Retirement/Assisted Living home about a mile from my daughter’s. I hired on as a full-time dining room server.

I loved, loved, LOVED this job! Within the first month I knew all 75 resident’s by their first names and learned their last names as time went by. I fell in love with them right away. Both sets of my grandparents had died when I was very young and, here, I had 75 of them! What a treat! I never realized how much I needed the love and wisdom of my elders.

Many of them became favorites and even good friends. I received much wise advice and a lot of love. In return, I gave them all the love I had in me. Love that was held back for all those latter years with Rick. The love I hadn’t expressed to my parents, siblings and, for many years, my children who had stayed away from me due to fear or hatred of Rick. His isolating me from all of my family contributed to that fact.

I found my own apartment and reveled in the solitude and being All By Myself! My workdays were filled with interactions with over 100 people and, much as I loved them, I was ready for peace and quiet and to just relax each evening and days off.

My life revolved around my job, it was my life! The second year, the company started an Employee of the Month program. The votes were made by residents only. I was named the first winner of this program and was so overjoyed! I hugged each and every one of those beautiful people until my arms ached. It was a very big thrill for me.

Did I get a “big head” from it? No. But my self-esteem and confidence bloomed even more. I felt stronger and more able to accept myself as a deserving individual. Four years into the job, I was promoted to Dining Room Coordinator. I was responsible for training servers and keeping the dining room and kitchen duties organized and completed on time.

I created place cards for the seating in the dining room. We did not have assigned seating but the residents always sat in the same place every meal. It is so hard for new servers to learn all of the residents names. This way, the names were at each individual setting and made it much easier on all of us. I have always been an organized person so this was second nature to me. Thus, the dining room operations ran smoothly and efficiently.

For 8 years, I led a most rewarding life filled with love, caring, and friendship. I loved my job with all of my being.

Sometimes, a resident would say “Don’t you ever leave me like all those young girls do when flitting from one job to another.” I always replied, “I will never leave here. I’ll be here until I retire, then I’ll move in and still be with you!” I always got a laugh with that line but I meant every word of it.

Then, one day, a young girl was promoted as the Director and she would turn my world upside down………


10 Comments leave one →
  1. November 15, 2009 5:35 pm

    Thanks, Barbara………one of my most enjoyable jobs was when I worked at what they called nursing homes in those days. Such dears they all were.


  2. November 15, 2009 5:38 pm

    Yes, Judi, they can be wonderful places to work. I found such joy there!

  3. Nancy permalink
    November 16, 2009 11:43 am

    What an accomplishment to go into the home and make everyone feel special and loved. If only I had a smidgen of your talent, I struggle everyday trying to make my one happy.

  4. November 16, 2009 11:48 am

    Nancy, it is so-o-o-o different with your own! I have definitely found that out. It kills my soul that I can’t make my Mom laugh or entertain her the way I did the residents. I loved making them laugh–it made my day, not just theirs. My Mom just doesn’t know how to enjoy life!

  5. November 16, 2009 1:05 pm

    What a beautiful post and I’m so glad that you could spread your love around and make so many people happy. Don’t give up hope, we can’t help but smile when there’s a happy face and soul beside us! You don’t know just how much you are touching your Mum’s heart and how much you mean to her. I pray that she will surprise you some day! ! Hugs!!

  6. November 16, 2009 1:25 pm

    Oh thank you Jonie! That means so much to me!

  7. Margie permalink
    November 18, 2009 10:18 am

    You are much bigger than me. I just don’t think I could ever work in a nursing home. Not that I’m not fond of the elderly. But, I was raised by my aunt and uncle and they both worked at a state nursing home and I spent a lot of my weekends there. That just ruined it for me.

  8. November 18, 2009 11:03 am

    Thanks for stopping by Margie. Yes, I guess an unhappy childhood memory would do that for you.

  9. December 10, 2010 1:37 am

    ohmygosh i’m almost afraid to continue to find out what happened next but i will; how can i not?
    I was just wondering do i have to click on the emails i get from wordpress to subscribe? I usually just click on to read my favorites every day and that has worked for me. But i will be a subscriber if thats the only way i can communicate with you.

  10. December 10, 2010 9:59 am

    Hmmm…. I’m not sure if you have to subscribe or not. It’s been so long since I posted on here that I forget the rules of WordPress. Just go ahead and subscribe if it’s not going to be bothersome for you.

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